What I Wish I Could Teach Her

My daughter is my world. She is the epitome of the old nursery rhyme:

"There was a little girl who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very very good,
But when she was bad, she was horrid!"

With her bright, smiling eyes and Shirley Temple curls, she is a thing of beauty. She has a flair for drama, constantly playing pretend and deeply feeling every emotion. Her eagerness to please the people around her reminds me very much of myself as a little girl. With her starting preschool next week, I find myself growing more and more anxious. And then earlier today she began frowning at her reflection. My heart sank as she said, "I wish my hair was straight."

I was bullied a lot in school. Other children found my theatrical ways strange. I got chubby, and I wore glasses. I had blonde curls too, at a time when straight hair was in. I did EVERYTHING to try and look like everyone else and fit in, but it never worked. Kids can be cruel to other children. Ridicule and teasing causes a lot more long term pain than any of them realize. Hearing my FOUR YEAR OLD complain about her hair mystified me. Where had she learned this? I have stopped fighting with my curls for years now, and I couldn't be happier with my appearance in general. I have learned to love myself. Perhaps Aidyn just wants to be like other kids? Has she been teased? Regardless, I have begun to search for ways to help her embrace her unique beauty, and focus on her inward beauty as well.
Perhaps we as parents can prevent some pain in our children. Maybe it's a right of passage. But no matter what can be done, I will protect my daughter best I can, and prevent her from making any other child feel unwanted.

I started a list of things I want to teach her, things that I wish I could make her understand without her having to experience the pain of learning it alone.

-Adults can be just as hurtful and cruel as children. It is learning to ignore this and being kind anyway that is the truly painful lesson, not the other people.
-Stick up for yourself. Don't unneccesarily pick fights, but don't allow people to take advantage of you or humiliate you either. If you don't have the words to defend yourself, find an adult or other party that does.
-Don't change yourself to fit in. It's good to be different, unique, and special. It may get you teased for a little bit, but it can become your greatest attribute.
-Other people do not make you happy. YOU make you happy.