Wow.

I read an article today that really irritated me. It was entitled: "Life as a Fat Person." The woman who wrote it was empassioned to write it as a result of a doctor;s article that she felt "didn't accurately portray what fat people go through on a daily basis." The article went on to gripe about how people thought she was "bad" for being fat, and how society and everyone judges her. I'll post the link below.


Now, believe it or not, I have been overweight. I was overweight as a preteen, teenager, and in my early adulthood. I've lost 20 pounds in 2 years. It was DIFFICULT for me. Retraining myself to eat properly and to exercise was an ordeal. For years I would go from one extreme to the other, either eating too much or not at all. It wasn't until I was pregnant and had my daughter that I decided enough was enough.

Society absolutely does not deem overweight people attractive. There are some who get away with it, like the curvaceous Christina Hendricks, but most are not so blessed as to carry their weight so gloriously. However, I feel that this article was more a whine than an actual, valid complaint. The woman goes on to say that she is judged as "bad" for being overweight. I have NEVER heard someone older than 13 make nasty comments about someone's weight to their face. Ever. Any respectable adult would know better, and any reasonable fat person would realize that. Moving on...
She also goes on to say that being fat is not an excuse for medical issues, and that being overweight will not shorten her life. While I know some very elderly fat people, I have to call BS on this one. Weight will cause health issues, plain and simple. It's the main reason a lot of patients have high cholesterol and high blood pressure, and even diabetes. What many people fail to realize is, just because you aren't obese, doesn't mean you aren't overweight. 20-30 lbs overweight is still overweight. I guarantee some older folks in my life could completely get rid of their BP medications if they dropped their extra weight.

Weight loss is not easy. It takes hard work. Eating HEALTHY foods and EXERCISE must happen. (I personally struggle with eating healthily due to my sweet tooth.) I LOVE to eat. Knowing this, I work out HARD. It is worth it to me to do an hour of cardio so I can eat a piece of cake when I want to and not feel the slightest bit guilty. For most folks who do not exercise, that is not an option.    

I am not saying people who are overweight are bad, stupid, or unattractive. What I AM saying is that overweight folks who feel society "hates them" or "owes them something" need a dose of reality. Making excuses for your weight or blaming society for not finding your roll attractive doesn't change anything. Quit whining or do something about your issues. PC individuals who cry that any joke about size is unfair- you're dang right! But that's life. Every time you say, "real women have curves," remember that sentiment, because skinny girls are persecuted for being naturally thin, too.   

In conclusion, I wanted to point out that any jabs at any size are rude. However, if you choose to get overly sensitive about a topic, be prepared to have someone point out to YOU the next time you judge someone what an awful person you are. I can't express this enough. Do what you need to in order to feel good about your size, and stop blaming others for the way YOU feel. The End.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/elizabeth-hawksworth/being-overweight_b_4116510.html

Ready

Graduation is almost upon me. I can taste it. I've had my first "big girl" interviews, and I'm ready to start my career. Now that I'm so close, I feel as though I am waiting for everything else to catch up.  
I did it. I changed my life. I had to leave some things and people behind, and I'm continuing to do so. Yet Aidyn and I are here, we are moving forward, and I am ready to stand on my own.

Enough is Enough!

Every once in a while you have to look at your life, discover what it is that you want, and make it happen. It's easy to fall into ruts: waiting for things, not being proactive, waiting for other people to make things happen for you. At the end of the day, how long should one wait and be patient? How much time should one invest in something (without seeing much progress) before giving up?

This is a question I've been brooding over lately. Good things take time to cultivate, I realize that. However, I feel my patience thinning. I've spent many years of my life wasting time on projects and people that have taken my time invested and never yielded results. Monotonous "plugging along," same excuses for not taking the time to accomplish things, wasting resources, and placating others with little rewards and "baby steps." It's an infuriating process.
One should never rely on others for happiness. One should never rely on others to accomplish goals, thinking that those will somehow magically transform the life one has.   

This is the mistake I have been making, over and over, hoping the results would be different each time. But actions speak louder than words. SEEING RESULTS AND PROGRESS is different than talking about it. I will no longer be patient with empty words. It's time to make decisions, follow through, and stop leaving projects half done.

...my name is Gretchen, and I am going to stop making excuses and change my life.

Hilarity

I marvel at how a child can take the simplest interactions and make them hilarious. I am painting Aidyn's bed frame, so her mattress is on the floor. We decided to make it a camping experience, complete with "ghost" stories. Aidyn's story was from a "My Little Pony" episode. In her little four year old voice she began,
"This one is called... the Hegelend of the Healous Horse."
Jesse promptly began to correct her.
"LEGEND."
"Hegelend."
"Legend of the HEADless Horse."
"Hege-"
"LEGEND."
Meanwhile, I sat there, shaking with laughter at the cuteness of the banter.

Then tonight, I sat listening to another story by Aidyn:

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived in the middle of a garden. She walked around looking for boys. She say a man and he said, 'You look sexy!'"
At this point, I interrupted her, "Please say 'Pretty' or 'beautiful'. Where did you hear that word?"
She replied, "Jesse says that to you sometimes."

...oops. (Mental note, tell Jesse to pick a different word.)

She continued,
"He said 'You look beautiful' and said he ate sexy gumballs."
At that point, I burst out laughing. When I was able to regain my composure, I corrected her again.


So in conclusion, eat your sexy gumballs and pronounce your words correctly.
 

What I Wish I Could Teach Her

My daughter is my world. She is the epitome of the old nursery rhyme:

"There was a little girl who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very very good,
But when she was bad, she was horrid!"

With her bright, smiling eyes and Shirley Temple curls, she is a thing of beauty. She has a flair for drama, constantly playing pretend and deeply feeling every emotion. Her eagerness to please the people around her reminds me very much of myself as a little girl. With her starting preschool next week, I find myself growing more and more anxious. And then earlier today she began frowning at her reflection. My heart sank as she said, "I wish my hair was straight."

I was bullied a lot in school. Other children found my theatrical ways strange. I got chubby, and I wore glasses. I had blonde curls too, at a time when straight hair was in. I did EVERYTHING to try and look like everyone else and fit in, but it never worked. Kids can be cruel to other children. Ridicule and teasing causes a lot more long term pain than any of them realize. Hearing my FOUR YEAR OLD complain about her hair mystified me. Where had she learned this? I have stopped fighting with my curls for years now, and I couldn't be happier with my appearance in general. I have learned to love myself. Perhaps Aidyn just wants to be like other kids? Has she been teased? Regardless, I have begun to search for ways to help her embrace her unique beauty, and focus on her inward beauty as well.
Perhaps we as parents can prevent some pain in our children. Maybe it's a right of passage. But no matter what can be done, I will protect my daughter best I can, and prevent her from making any other child feel unwanted.

I started a list of things I want to teach her, things that I wish I could make her understand without her having to experience the pain of learning it alone.

-Adults can be just as hurtful and cruel as children. It is learning to ignore this and being kind anyway that is the truly painful lesson, not the other people.
-Stick up for yourself. Don't unneccesarily pick fights, but don't allow people to take advantage of you or humiliate you either. If you don't have the words to defend yourself, find an adult or other party that does.
-Don't change yourself to fit in. It's good to be different, unique, and special. It may get you teased for a little bit, but it can become your greatest attribute.
-Other people do not make you happy. YOU make you happy.